Récit 故事
Noli Me Legere (Do Not Read)
《不要讀我》
Experimentalist Media Collective - B-Journal
Online format (published 2021.09 - 2022.07 ) Print (TBA)
Pt.1: https://experimentalistmediacollective.com/noli-me-legere-do-not-read
Pt.2: https://experimentalistmediacollective.com/noli-me-legere-do-not-read-pt-2
Pt.3: https://experimentalistmediacollective.com/noli-me-legere-do-not-read-pt-3
Novel 長篇小說
《惝情書》
Write Across
唐山出版社 (2009)
TonSan Publications Inc., Taipei, Taiwan; 2009
Number of pages: 303; Format: Paperback; ISBN: 9789867021632
SYNOPSYS
故事主要是描寫一位女孩子（阿貞）的成長經歷。自小是在非常純樸的鄉下與外婆同住，又成天和表弟一塊兒四處玩耍、為所欲為，使得本性率真狂野的她，其實從未想過「自己(一個女孩子)」到底該成為什麼模樣。直到外婆去世後被接往都市與父母生活，才發現原來「這個世界」和自己所想像的竟是如此迥然不同。「來到都市十幾年後，曾經那個無欲無求的鄉下小子究竟去哪兒了？」
全書對於「家／家庭／親情」的這個概念，將不斷地浮現／影射在她周遭許多人身上。譬如她總是羨慕表弟有一位深愛他的母親、有一個溫暖又不愁吃穿的家，後來才明白那種愛是出自於內疚；玲玲的家，縱使在別人眼中的它是多麼富裕，最後卻諷刺地成為禁錮之地；阿貞的爸媽，則是在外界眼中不被認同的地下關係，一對沒有證書的伴侶，「但憑什麼人家能走到今天，如果不是彼此心中很堅定、很純粹的愛，如何能？」這是後來阿貞在信裡對玲玲這麼說道，她認為只要兩個人有心走下去，結婚證書就變得如同紙一般單薄了。
故事開始是以主角（阿貞）為第一人稱敘述這十幾年來所親身經歷的過往。最後那一封長信，則是換以玲玲的角度端點來呈現，補足了阿貞以外的視野，也更深刻地表達出玲玲在同志的情感關係中，（另一半）內心所承受的家庭壓力，心理障礙。
全書主要是希望展現出無論任何一種族群在這個社會上的某一種純實的生活形貌，無論男女、年少、同異性戀，都可能曾是書中的一個角色，也或有他／她值得憑弔回味的地方──也許是對親情、友情、愛情，也或是對家庭的渴望，對事業的成就感，對過去童年的感懷，等等。期許自己的作品該是以更寬厚且坦然的角度去書寫，不強作立場或具有批判性質，也期許這本書將被更寬廣的看見，擁有其獨特的價值。
Write Across is primarily about the coming of age of a Taiwanese girl, Ah Zhen. When she was a child she lived with her grandmother in the countryside. She was a wild and willful tomboy, who played all the time with her cousin, a boy called Ah Ching. She never thought about trying to “look like a girl.” It is not until her grandmother dies that she is brought to the city to live with her parents. She begins to see that city life is different from what she had imagined.
The concepts of home and family continue to evolve for each of the main characters in the novel. For example, Ah Zhen always envied Ah Ching for having a mother who loved him so much and a warm home with no worries about food and clothing. But later she realizes this is his mother’s attempt to compensate for Ah Ching’s disability. Lingling's home, though it is so wealthy it can be called upper society, finally becomes a place of imprisonment. Ah Zhen is the child of a couple in an illicit relationship, which cannot be officially recognized because her father is married to someone else. As Ah Zhen writes in a letter to Lingling: "But how are they able to stay together, if not for the firm and pure love in each other’s hearts?” She thinks the will these two people show in remaining together is much stronger than the thin paper of a marriage certificate.
Love is an expression of being alive, originating from an innocent mind. The novel uses a naturalistic approach to portray the love between Lingling, Shen Qing and Ah Zhen, who are shown to have feelings towards each other, regardless of their gender. It is only later, when confronted by a traditional social system that they inevitably question their sexual orientation and identity.
The story begins as a first-person narrative, as Ah Zhen recalls years of struggle with her social life and faces questions about her sexual identity. Later, with Lingling and Ah Zhen’s confessional letter exchange, we see the two women’s different visions of their future. In the final section, a long note from Lingling, we enter her inner world and get a more profound perspective of the comrades’ relationships, family pressures and psychological barriers.
The book shows that all people lead an authentic life in this society, worthy of recollection, regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexual preference or social standing. It confronts the protagonist’s sexuality, her nostalgia for pre-school life, her adolescence, her desire for family, friendship and love, and her pursuit for career success. I hope that my book conveys a spirit of generosity and honesty and that it relates its visceral story in a way that will be read widely, beyond any single community of readers.
https://tonsanbookstore.cyberbiz.co/products/%E6%83%9D%E6%83%85%E6%9B%B8
https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010390348
Short Story 短篇小說
《沙 發》
The Couch
林語堂文學獎 - 入圍 (2011)
Lin Yutang Literary Award - Judges Award (2011)
林語堂文學獎 - 作品集刊 (出版 2012)
Lin Yu-tang Literature Award Annual Selection (published 2012)
她搖下車窗，想再仔細看看。外面太陽很大，所有東西都像在浮動的水泥地上烤。後面車子發出不耐的喇叭聲。她伸出頭向路邊那個女人喊：「沙發賣多少？」那女人手裡搖著扇子，拉長脖子喊回來：「九百九。」
九百多！這種樣式市面上至少要五千。說不定沒看清楚，那沙發要不是有什麼瑕疵決不可能賣這價錢。她遲疑一秒，忽然瞥見旁邊一塊紙板上寫著：「半新二手家具」原來是二手貨。轉念又想，二手貨倒也沒什麼──那孩子！沒必要還得買張全新的。她停好車，因顧忌臉上的雀斑，頂著一把洋傘走。
女人正在和另一位中意茶几的男士算錢，見了她回來，直說：「坐坐看，坐一下身子骨都鬆了。」沙發是略大於單人大小，淡柳黃底，大片手工織花，沒有汙漬，沒有刮痕，四腳穩當，手摸上去晒烘烘的，更覺舒軟，淡黃布料在烈日下被逼成璀金，簡直不想買都不行。她挺滿意，卻仍要緊著眉頭，說：「這用多久了啊？」女人笑著走過來，回道：「不管多久，會保養比較重要，你去哪裡買也買不到像這樣的，說真的，我要賣兩千塊都有這個價，對不對。」她虛虛地微微一笑：「也是也是。」手指頭在那金銅弧線椅背上溜了溜。
女人說的也是實情，當初刻意把價錢定得這麼低，無非就是為了趁早脫手，為了精神上的解脫。她母親顧太太很有潔癖，只坐自己的這張沙發，每天睡前要用梳理狗毛的刷子在坐面上過一過，每隔三天要用濕抹布沾茶樹酒精消除細菌，每隔一個月則要整個地從上到下翻過來徹底修整，最後在四隻木腳上上蠟。要是她僅僅要求自己還好，問題是她非要身旁的人也是如此。
顧太太體型嬌小，時常喜歡穿著藍黑光澤色調的罩衣，走來走去好像一隻蜂鳥快速拍打翅膀。別看她骨架子不大，體力倒是能耐，當初內戰戰火蔓延，她一個人不知道怎麼徒步翻山越嶺避槍避炮的，只憑著手裡抓著兩隻繡有名字的定情香囊，有辦法一路從南京追著顧先生部隊追到了台灣，從此傳為一段佳話。顧先生佩服她這種意志，卻也怕她這種意志。